There’s a big difference between hearing and listening and after reading this article I hope that you will receive a noticeable understanding of this distinction.
Most in conversation are simply hearing, by hearing I mean they’re simply waiting for their chance to chime in. This greatly reduces the workmanship of their words, after all, they weren’t really listening to begin with. In essence, the majority of human dialogues are exchanged between people who are communicating and rarely connecting…
This greatly reduces the workmanship of their words, after all, they weren’t really listening to begin with. In essence, the majority of human dialogues are exchanged between people who are communicating and rarely connecting…
Like a telephone conversation where the receiver is broken and barely audible.
After some major active listening over the last three years of networking with many super successful individuals around the globe, I’ve found that every person has their own Words Per Minute Value (WPMV). This is your verbal usefulness level.
Hint: I’ve listened intensely to super achievers and what I’ve found is that they stay true to the fact we humans have two ears and one mouth for a reason and that’s why we should be listening twice as much as we speak. When such figures and excellent achievers speak every word seems to be crafted with intention. They have trimmed the fat in the way they talk. No fluff and only great stuff. As a result, their Words Per Minute Value is extremely high! Furthermore, it may become evident for you when you engage with such people that their Words Per Second Value is equally impressive! Mostly, they use as little words as possible and get the message across more powerfully than anyone you’ve ever met.
Conversely, I’ve listened to people who have a never-ending amount of spewed data coming out of their mouth. But what difference does it make? The average listener is only hearing and is easily swayed by our over-communicated society. So less is more becomes more important than ever these days.
You can tell what difference words make and if the person making them is talking the talk or walking the walk. Actions speak louder than words, and patterns speak louder than actions.
If you have a low WPMV, the solution is to talk less make more real world results. At that time you will be confident enough to say more with less words and let your track record speak for itself…
Most conversationalists are as Jay-Z puts it, “You know the type: loud as a motorbike but wouldn’t bust a grape in a fruit fight,” their words lack impact.
Now a great question to learn to ask yourself when evaluating your WPMV when talking to yourself (self-talk), or when conversing with others is: How would that be helpful? Moreover, how is what was just said useful to you or anyone for that matter?
The great Socrates devised a way of determining verbal usefulness through his methodology of The Triple Filter test. The account is as follows:
In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem. one day, an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I heard about that person?”
“Hold on a minute”, Socrates replied. “Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“That’s right”, Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about that person, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test.
The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it…”
“All right”, said Socrates. “So, you don’t really know if it’s true or not.
Now, let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. is what you are about to tell me about that person something good?”
“No, on the contrary.”
“So”, Socrates continued, “You want to tell me something bad about that person, but you’re not certain if it’s true. You may still pass the test though because there’s one filter left: The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about that person going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really.”
“Well”, concluded Socrates, “If what you want to tell me about this person is neither true, nor good, nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?”
So… What is your WPMV?